Todd's Journey

The story of my cancer journey

My Hero, my rock, my reason for life

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Every one of us has a rock, a support, an angel that look out for us and walk with us through life. Sometimes we know who these angels are, but sometimes we don't. But we all have them.

For me, I know who my rock and support is. Jamie is truly a god send for me. He cares for me without complaint. Even on the days where I am less than cordial with him.

He watches my medication times, checks on me throughout the night, bought me an alert button that I can press if I need him to come to me.

He fixes my dressings on my neph tubes when needed. He helps me change my "diaper" underwear when needed, he empties my urinal, he helps clean me if I need it.

He lifts me up when my legs are weak, and he helps me to the bathroom. He carries me when my legs fail me.

He takes me to all my appointments and is in regular contact with my pharmacist regarding my medications and refills.

He sits patiently with me during my chemo treatments. Helps me move through the hospital in a wheelchair.

But that is only the medical support he gives me.

He also cooks all the meals for us. He does all the dishes. He does all the housework. He gets the groceries every week. He runs into town anytime we need something.

He does all the yard work. He mows the lawn. He closed the pool on his own. He put away all the summer furniture and closed up the back yard.

You cannot begin to imagine how bad I feel, everyday, watching him do all this on his own while I sit or lay here in a state where I cannot help him.

I don't know where I would be today if it were not for Jamie. I love him so very much for what he does for me. And what he HAS done for me for the past 28 years.

I seriously believe I would be gone by now if not for Jamie. Because I know, there is just no way I could do this all on my own, or expect my parents (who also have their own challenges) to take care of me.

Jamie is my rock. Jamie is my support. Jamie is my angel. Jamie is reason for living right now. Jamie is my life.

Monday, September 11 Update

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Here is my 2nd video update for the week of September 11th, 2023

Up and down week

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Well, has been one week since I was released from hospital after having 2 more bladder resections, and more cancer removed. Thank you to all of you who have written such kind words of support. Many of you have said how you know me as a strong, persistent fighter in everything I do, but Cancer is a whole different opponent for me. I have little to know control over it now, and until I can get into Chemotherapy I am having to cope and let it lead my life right now.

It makes me very tired, and occassionally lets me know it's still there with some strong bouts of pain, but hopefully I will get into therapy soon enough.

I had to learn the hard way this week just how much dignity you can lose fighting a battle with cancer. I was trying to take a bath in 3" of water (since I cannot get my nephrostomy tubes and dressings wet) and I got to a point where I was so weak in my legs that I could not wash my back or behind. I had one hand on the bath wall in front of me, and one holding on to the side of the tub, while on my knees crying. Jamie came in and finished washing me up. I felt so useless and helpless. And really lost my dignity in that moment. I just cried for an hour after that.

As one of Aunt in laws, who is a registered nurse, said "Things are going to get worse for me before they get better". This will be an understanding I will have to have for the next six to eight months.

I am forever grateful to Jamie for his constant support and caring of me. I have no idea what I would do if I did not have him. He watches over me like a hawk, hugs and holds me when I have one of many down moments, and helps me find positives in this dark period of my life.

I will update everyone on Monday with a new video post. Thanks again for all your kind words and support.